My three regular readers may have noticed that not everything I post here is serious. Really, almost none of it is, it’s just about gaming after all. Nonetheless I do try to make things I post usable to some degree. In this one, I’m addressing a missing rule in AD&D. Despite poring over the manuals, I really find no guidance on kissing in AD&D. This oversight must be addressed.

Now, some may argue that killing monsters and stealing their loot is the point of AD&D, others may argue that killing other players and stealing their loot is the point of AD&D. Who am I to tell them they are wrong? But I do know this, Paladins are part of AD&D. And, the most famous paladin of all is most famous, not for winning battles, but for stealing a kiss. If Lancelot can’t be fully represented by the rules of the game, well, how we really call it role playing?

Now many would say having to act out acts of passion at the table top is kind of creepy and, at the very least, lacks dignity and I would agree. So, I’m not talking about sex here. But, a peck on the cheek may be necessary sometime. I’m sure we can all pan away from the more steamy parts. No need to jump to the body parts.

But if we are to play a game of knights and chivalry, some courtly love should be part of it, should it not? How to go about it in AD&D when there are literally no rules at all? Well, I’m a big fan of using all the tools one has, already. Stealing a kiss, as they say, evokes the Thief. Thieves steal things, it is true. But we really aren’t talking about strategic use of Hiding in Shadows, Picking Pockets, or Opening Locks. And, besides, every class should be able to steal a kiss on occassion. No, we need to get into the meat of the rules. Start with the combat rules, because all is fair in love and war.

Surprise, may be crucial. Though, perhaps less common than some pretend when it comes to stealing kisses. A party that gains surprise gets multiple attempts to succeed at kissing. Though, use of surprise, forgoes parlay and intial reaction rolls, so is often fraught with a certain amount of peril. Those choosing to make use of surprise in the kiss, is advised that it is best used with already receptive parties.

I’ve eliminated the determine distance step. Kissing may only be carried out between parties that are already within engagement distance.

Next is determine initiative. This is carried out as per the normal combat rules. And, as with the normal rules, it may be overidden by charges and nonweapon combat. The side that wins initiative has several options: avoid engagement, attempt to parlay, await action by the other party, charge, set weapons for a charge, strike (not blows but kisses), or engage in nonweapon combat (pummel/grapple/overbear).

Fleeing the engagement is always an option. And, like normal combat, this does open one up to follow-up strikes. Though, when stealing kisses, the follow-up strike rarely falls, since kissing your opponents butt as they withdraw almost never accomplishes the purpose of the engagement. Fleeing is usually a good option to those wholely opposed to a kiss.

It is quite normal to attempt to parlay. Parlaying triggers a reaction roll which may aid in successful strike attempts later on, or indicate that such attempts would not be welcome.

Reaction is modified as normal by a characters Reaction Adjustment. Follow-on kiss attempts use as a modifier the number rolled for the reaction minus fifty and divided by ten rounded down. The modifier may be positive or negative.

Kiss Modifier = (RR-50)/10

Freaks who use the Comeliness attribute may also modify kiss attempts with their Comeliness Adjustment Value. Comeliness can sometimes mitigate a bad reaction.

Awaiting action by the other party does not trigger a reaction roll. The opponent in this case does not get a clue of whether the kiss may be well received by the other party. They will just have to decide to take their chances or chicken out. It’s a common dilemma.

While normally charging is related to closing distance rapidly for an attack, you might think charging has little to do with kissing. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many a successful kiss has been carried out with a charge. Though charges are fraught with peril. Like normal combat charges override initiative. Unless the recipient already has made a reaction roll that is greater than 95, the resulting reaction roll is reduced by 20.

And, weapons, may be set against a charge. This may be in the form of any normal weapon, but also stilettos (the dagger or the shoes), and hatpins, spindles, knitting needles may all be employed. In which case a charge attempt may be thwarted as a normal unarmed combat fending attack.

Assuming then that nothing has dissuaded the paramour from attempting a kiss, they can attempt the kiss. This is attempted like normal combat, except the armor class is always treated as AC 10, unless, of course, a visor or great helm is being worn in which case it is AC 2.

A kiss attempt triggers a new reaction roll regardless of whether the kiss is successful. However, a failed kiss attempt always subtracts fifteen from the reaction roll. A successful kiss, however, adds ten to the reaction roll. All other normal modifiers apply to the reaction roll. Reaction modifiers from kisses are cumulative from round to round whether they are successful or not. Thus, one might miss the first round and earn a -15 modifier, hit the next two rounds (+10+10) and end up with a +5 modifier on the fourth round.

Unarmed combat procedures may be used as a preface to a kiss attempt. Pummelling is always not recommended unless there already is a prior reaction roll at 95+, and even then unless the player explicitly allows it, or is inflicted with sado-masochism always results in -40 to the reaction roll. If the recipient is so inflicted, then the reaction roll is at+30. Successfully grappled opponents or those stunned by an overbear attack may be kissed automatically, triggering a reaction roll.

Similarly, grappling and overbearing, while not as unwelcome as pummelling, is also a risky maneauver. Unless there is an existing reaction roll at 95+, grappling or overbearing is always at -40 for males and, -20 for females.

Kissing may continue indefinately. However, once a reaction roll is modified above 150, the target of the kisses is considered to be under the effect of a Charm spell. If the kiss is broken off between 75 and 95 then the character is considered to be treated as if under a Friends spell — such a character will resist all future attempts at kissing. If the modified reaction roll ever falls below 45 then the target will begin resisting future kiss attempts (through parlay, setting against charges, etc), and if the modified reaction roll falls below 25 the will react violently to avoid kiss attempts. Also, at the 150+ range, it is time to pan away from potential future actions.